Muse

image courtesy of www.wordle.com

Lyrics:

Watercolor rainbows,
see the way they play
across your face and neck
and hands and lips.
Eyes like winter music,
voice like summer day,
skin like morning,
soft beneath my fingertips.



I am powerless to refuse
my heart, my art, my lover, my muse.



I should like to paint you
on the pages of my eyes:
with careful lines and
pools of gold and blue.
I should like to sing you

that the stars might harmonize,
let music spin
like wind, as if on cue.


Are you truth or beautiful ruse?
My heart, my art, my lover, my muse.



You inspire my desire,
you create each anticipation.
Draw from me wells of poetry.


How unbearably true:
It's all from you.
It's all for you.



Candlelit companions
whisper in the glow.
You are there in every
secret breath.
You're my every vision,

in every seed I sow.
I'll not escape, through
heartbreak, nor by death.


A more perplexing, perfect lover I could never choose.
My untouched, unattainable muse.





As performed by the glorious Jennifer Witt at the Girls Night Out Cabaret!

On the Other Side of the Door

Inspired by “Goodbye for Now” by Sondheim, I wanted to write a song about a very specific MOMENT in a relationship. Recalling a blurb I read in Cosmo about how a guy may not kiss a girl on the first date if her really likes her, the following song emerged……

On the Other Side of the Door
.
She: Well, that was awkward.
Of course I had to go and spoil it.
He tried to kiss me.
If I weren’t crazy I’d just stand there and enjoy it.
My brain said “run,” my eyes, “he’s cute,” my body begged for more
But now I’m standing, shaking
on the other side of the door.
.
He: Well, that was stupid.
Of course I had to go and try it.
Saw what she needed.
Figured, hell, I could supply it.
A guy should know it's not "all systems go" until you know for sure.
Cause now I’m stuck here, like a schmuck,
on the other side of the door.

She: On the other side of the door.

Both: On the other side of the door.
We had a white hot night.
She laughed. He payed. The band was fine.
And as the moon rose up to meet the stars
I started jumping ahead in time.
I’m thinking, birthdays, breakfasts, moments, years,
Two point five kids, two careers.
He looks so good. The road's so clear,
So why’d I go and interfere?


She: Well, this is silly.
He: Well, this is useless.

She: Of course I haven’t headed home yet.
He: Of course I’m looking for a reason

She: It’s like I’m stuck here.
He: To turn the key and

She: And I can’t be sure what for
He: Turn my back and lock the door.

Both: If I could turn back time I’d find the cure
For this unbearable moment
On the other side of the door…

On the other side of the door
And we could take things slow
But take them wherever they lead.
The days could tick on by forever
And you could be all that I’d need
It might be wrong. It might all end
The tangled line of lovers/friends.
But I screwed up. I ruined this
With one attempted stupid kiss.
And now the only thing I know for sure
Is that I’m hoping you will find me………….

On the other side of the door……
On the other side of the door……
On the other side of the door…….

If You Touch Me

If you touch me,
If you brush back the hair from my face,
If you touch me,
I’m afraid I’d be scattered all over the place.
If you hold me I fear I may fill up with air
like a Thanksgiving float.
If you kiss me beware of the flowers I’m certain
will fly from my throat.
I’d like to pretend I could stay cool and calm and collected but I know
if you touch me I’d probably fly
from this step to the depths of the sky
We'd be tearing through heaven if I
wasn't too scared to let go...
.
No…
.
No, don’t look at me. No, don’t say those things,
don’t wink your eye, make that face, don’t pretend that’s it’s
innocent, not when I know and you know, so just--
please no, don’t ask without asking, don’t say without
saying, we can’t and I won’t, no, I don’t, no we
can’t, no I won’t be that woman.
I can’t let you-- I won’t be the
one….
.
No, I won’t break the hearts and the dreams and the vow, I just
can’t, won’t allow all this mess, yes this mess we’ve begun
.
Even though you are so…
.
So…
.
And I just want to—no, I just have to say no,
Don’t.
No.
but just know…
.
If you touch me…
If we fell from the world and were free.
And you touched me,
Heaven knows what I’d say or I’d do or I’d be.
If you murmured my name I’d be all but the same,
and I’d melt into night.
And I’d shiver and tremble and glow with a
strange and a powerful light.
And I’d like to pretend it would work in the end,
but I know myself, and so,
even though if you’d touch me I know we would fly…
In a while we would tumble like blood from the sky…
So, even though I know, and you know, and there’s just still much we could…
.
No…
.
I have to let you go.
.
No…
.
Just go.
.
If you touch me…..

Soliloquy

I've waited a quarter of a lifetime
for something I may never find.
So why this senseless certainty
that somewhere out in the universe
you've been designed
with me in mind?
.
I imagine your arms around my body,
and your hands brushing past my heart.
In my mind is the wet, sweet sound
that your lips will make near my ear when they part
to whisper three words:
"I am here."
.
But where are you?
Where are you?
What kind of world creates a question there's no answer to?
.
I could write you a million songs
for something I may never feel.
Could something so unattainable,
elusive and dangerous be worth the ordeal,
or even real?
.
I imagine your arms around my body
and your eyes washing me like rain.
Under my hands your untouched silhouette
draws itself in water, ink, and stain
to write out three words:
"I am here."
.
But where are you?
Where are you?
What kind of world creates a question there's no answer to?
.
In my mind, I breathe you in.
In my lungs I know each inch of your skin.
Won't you find me now and let it begin?
.
Let what begin?
My life?
I have a life.
My happiness?
I'm happy....ish.
My genuine authentic self?
Bullshit.
.
There's something to be said for
knowing who you are when you're alone.
So many people don't.
And who's to say a life with him,
whoever he may be is better,
than the one I'm living,
and I'll keep living either way.
I'd rather just have nothing
than have something that means nothing
just to have it and to say I did.
So if I just keep swimming,
keep on living keep surviving,
I'll be ok...
.
Cause I've made it this far,
and I've lasted this long,
and I've learned to be
unattractively
empowered and strong.
See, I kill my own spiders.
The remote is mine alone.
And I know if I try
I'll get by on my own.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
And I've made it this far...
I can last a little longer.
.
I can last through the lightning,
through the pain and the flood,
watch me dance, watch me laugh,
watch me bleed.
.
Oh, I'll make it if I have to,
and though I'd love to find someone to love,
I know there's nothing more I really need.
.
Cause I've made it this far,
and I've last this long,
and I've learned to be
amazingly
empowered and strong.
Man, I kill my own dragons,
and my life is my own,
and I'll do more than try,
I can fly on my own.
What doesn't kill me makes me beautiful and stronger!
And I've made it this far...
.
I can last a little longer....

The Mountain and the Ocean

.

The snow melts down like tears along the Mountain's face.
The Ocean feels the waterfalls increase.
Why weep, my friend? said Ocean to the Mountain tall.
When will you find the golden light of peace?
.
You stand among the stars, oh Mountain, straight and true,
and all the waters here below look up to you.
To dwell among the heavens must be truly grand,
and yet you cry. Oh Mountain, I don't understand.
.
Ocean dear, my friend, said Mountain's gentle voice,
as clear as night, as deep as Trident's sea.
You give me hope for dreams I have that might have been,
but still I weep for what I cannot be.
.
For you cannot see what I see beyond the stars' fair light.
I ache beyond my wildest dreams to reach it every night.
A world of beauty, I can see it, yet I find now way
to stretch beyond this rocky ground, so weeping, here I stay.
.
Oh, Mountain, give up foolish talk. There's nothing but the stars.
And you can find true happiness here in this world of ours.
Kind Ocean waved and shook her head: what silly dreamer, this:
so tall, so proud, so full of grief, this Mountian's foolishness.
.
But still each spring, the Mountain weeps for places she alone can see.
Beyond the stars, a heaven lies for dreamers yet to be.